"...I had the blood of Reptilicus on my hands..."

"...I had the blood of Reptilicus on my hands..."

Plot? The Copenhagen Tourist Board does a commercial for the city featuring Godzilla, King of the Tundra.
Complete with nightclub singer doing a nice little jingle about the wonders of the city.
Camera pans over stark wasteland to reveal drilling rig made of 1x3's and string that is drilling in the jungle. No wait, its the tundra, and they are drilling through permafrost. And blood. Not frozen blood, just blood.
Cut to Akvarium, and its not, I'm afraid, a pre-Hyborian kingdom.

Godzilla awakens hungry to crush the screaming hordes beneath his scaly feet - no wait, its not Godzilla, its Godzilla's Dragon-ish cousin Reptilicus , who must now trash Copenhagen because his front limbs are rigid and unmoving. Presumably his rear legs work, because he does seem capable of locomotion, what with traveling from aquarium to seashore  and  then to anywhere else they can bluescreen him.

They put some effort into making the monster visibly drool, but then never moved its front feet, which were held in a awkward position. Not as bad stop motion as the Giant Killer Robot of Feminine Death out of Starcrash, but really, what movie is going to live up to Scontri stellari oltre la terza dimensione ?
(I'm not going to go into why Starcrash is the greatest SF movie ever filmed, and possibly the finest that could ever be made, because I haven't seen Gravity yet.(And stop telling me that the physics in Gravity are riddled with errors: I am not six years old, I know its a movie, and hence, not real.)

Why do I get the impression that the frozen tail knocks the professor out and then opens the fridge door to defrost itself, using mental powers

Why is the 'full scientific powers of the United Nations' apparently the beautiful Miss Miller, who arrives before the advent of Reptilicus? And why is she from UNESCO?

Now if I had to regenerate myself from my tail tip because of pesky humans, and mature to my full strength in a locked aquarium next to invisible electric eels,* I'd be pretty cranky too, especially if the eels got out and were zapping me every time I moved. And if I had done all this during a thunderstorm**, and I had only been fed through a IV line since my last meal several million years ago, maybe I would eat the professor (unless he was just a professor med særlige opgaver). Its not like I'd be able to eat the slightly bizarre daughters without choking on their puffy skirts that really clashed with the stark laboratory setting.

And was the Danish Army involved in shooting that film, a la Transformers? (Watch the mighty Danes combat Reptilicus, and then pop down to your nearest recruiting station and sign up?)
And why was the main solider an American brigadier general? I mean, not why in plot sense, but why in writing sense? Why bother? Why not a Danish general? They must have generals of some sort, even back in the 1960's, they had generals.
Now the Danish army and navy fights Reptilicus so efficiently and thoroughly, that you'd almost think they had warplans drawn up and filed under R for Reptilicus.

'That area! Has it been sectored?" 

So many questions, so little movie.

*I can't see them - is it just because the poor copy I watched, or is the glass aquarium the security guard/handyman/comic relief/village idiot soaks his hands in actually empty? And why am I reminded of Bender Rodriguez's electricity addiction while watching that scene?

**Which only made the eels madder.

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