Maslow's Monkey's Mallet

Invention for the day: use bubblewrap labels on cans or bottles  of beer. The advantages are manifold:

1. The added insulation keeps the drink cooler longer.
2. The added insulation keeps your hand comfortable.
3. The thing floats way better. If the label is properly shaped, the container will ride with the mouth comfortably out of water,allowing a much better beer-in-my-sensory-deprivation-tank experience.
4. The compulsive amongst use have something better to do than pick labels off of beer bottles; the bubbles are so satisfactory to pop!
5. Dropped containers would suffer less shock; less broken bottles (wasted beer!) and exploding cans.
6. Discarded cans and bottles will float, rather than sink, aiding in recycling recovery!
      Although, if the damn cans were built with a designed in aluminum bubble of around 10cc, this could be accomplished without the added step of needing to peel the label away before melting down the cans.

Ultimately, we could put the beer right into the bubbles themselves. Assuming the average swig* of beer to be around 50cc, we could package a swig in a roughly-two-inch wide blister. A four-ish inch wide scarf of this material could hold about 500ml to the foot, but if we reduce the packing fraction, and allow a percentage of bubbles to be empty to provide vacuous** pleasure, we could easily get 250ml to the foot, or 1.5 liters in a six foot scarf. That's a comfortable supply that should meet most swigging requirements. Wrapped around the neck would distribute the weight evenly, and keep your hands free to wave foam fingers, fucus, or filigree as your heart dictated. You would have to carry a small pointy-tipped juice box style straw, but even that could be the avenue of innocent pleasure***.

The BubbleBeerScarf!

Improvements are still possible. The air bubbles can be filled with a selection of pretzels and salted peanuts.
The last bubble on the scarf could contain breath mints!
Winos would sport a new oddly hipster look, and redneck porn would develop a new prop.

This is how the Future comes to us. The Divine Madness is merely the technique of carrying ideas where ideas would normally fear to tread.

Found this!

A tip of my hat to you, Diane!

 *There are 10 sips to a swig, and six swigs to a quaff. Four quaffs make a draft, and three drafts make a chug.
**You see what I did there?
***Probably banned from hooligan soccer matchs after a while.

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